what identifies time as “quality” when it comes to a relationship? more specifically, a partnership, loveship, a marriage. we’re trying to balance our work/school lives with time at home, but that time at home is feeling more like independent time.
i’m lonely. there, i said it. i don’t have friends where we live now, and my relationship is a work in progress, i’m constantly working on grad school assignments and readings while he is stuck traveling and being gone throughout the week for work. this time alone is interesting to a point, but that makes me want to spend more time with him when we’re together. the feeling isn’t necessarily reciprocated. i understand a need for down time after a long week, but when there is limited time together, i would hope that it would be something on the mind. it’s on my mind. but i’ve tried… without pushing myself on him because that would make him uncomfortable, i am at a loss. i am not one to just live my life solely on my own; meaning, i value relationships, friendships, family, interaction with other people. so this is very important to me – especially with someone i love. acts of service is his love language, which i know i need to work better on especially because that is one of the least languages i am fluent in. i express love through affirmations, quality time, and touch. leaving love letters or texts respond with a smiley face (owch). quality time is something we both define differently, so compromising to his has been where it’s at lately. sitting in front of netflix, sharing a show, while he plays wow with a friend, sitting on separate furniture pieces, rarely interacting. and he’s ok with that. and touch… well, like i said he is uncomfortable with it so i have given up trying. no lingerie, no tease play, no grabbing his hand, all waiting for him to make the move. i am at a loss.
i’m all for getting a new game console, playing cards, going for hikes, trying new restaurants, but … i’m met with the same thing. is it too much to ask for variety? variety in showing interest? sharing similarities? i don’t know how much more i can give of myself without giving myself completely away. and i don’t want that. i value my independence. but it’s about compromising and enjoying each other’s time, or am i wrong?
tnwchronicles 